gas light (sun)

since your youth you have been terrified of the dark.
you keep the light on in your closet and crack your door to sleep.
the teen years are better.
you turn off the lights but immediately close your eyes to avoid even a second of darkness.
logic tries to tell you there is nothing to be afraid of.
you are not convinced.

you move out of your childhood home and worry about the dark.
the need to find a new light source is overwhelming.
you are a moth.

someone who shines like the sun bursts into your life and you are in love.
the red flags are disguised as solar flares and you buy a new aloe plant for the burn.
this new light makes you feel safe and you forget about the dark.
you are blinded.

years of string lights and sun burns and lighters go by and you are happy as a sun beam.
you have become used to the warmth and when the night comes you are lost.
revolving around the sun has made you forget you have your own light.
planets will eventually get sucked into their sun.
you are caught in a supernova.

you turn on your closet light and crack the door.
the darkness overwhelms you and you wonder if this is always the fate of celestial bodies.
you turn off the light and face it.
the blues and blacks and purples paint you pictures you have never seen.
you find new constellations and talk to the moon.
solitude reminds you that you have always been a light.

you fall in love with the dark.

 

-jj