My Life as a "Cat-Calling" Addict
Each day I start off by wishing a good morning to my copy of “The World’s Hottest Men of 2016” Calendar. Ah, time to start another day. I don’t like to brag, but I would say I have the art of cat-calling down to a T. Now there are specific rules to follow when fishing for men. Due to the threat of a possible backlash, I go the route with easy escape. Usually the best way to do this is to establish a safe distance between you and your prey and proceed to bombard them with a variety of compliments.
A few examples to start you off are
“I like the way you walk, babe. Why don’t you walk my way?”
“Mmm THAT’S what I am talking about”
“Hey! Hottie! Where is your girlfriend letting you walk around in public in that FIT”
And my personal favorite, “NICE ASS”.
I receive a variety of responses to these. Yet, most of the time, I scream it while biking past them so I can get the pleasure of delivery without response. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a little compliment here and there to make someone’s day. To be sure, the easy escape route isn’t the only way to compliment your targets. To recall a specific scenario, I was walking to work one day when I saw an object of my desire, a man in yoga pants. Now, normally I would take the “scream from a distance” approach… but in this particular moment I was feeling frisky. I proceeded to follow him all the way to his class asking him a number of questions; “Are you single? Where are you going? Do you workout? But most importantly, can I get your number?” Eventually I took his silence as permission to grab his hand and confess my undying love for yoga pants. Alas, in the end we all have things we must do so I left him with a little blessing, my number, and went to work.
I hope this article inspires you all to pursue your own version of “passerby romance” I look forward to seeing you all on the streets soon.
Hugs and kisses,
Your local cat-caller